We were together and it was serious,
I was thinking about changing my last name to yours.
We had amazing chemistry and conversation but for some reason we were so different in the way we thought about life…
like the serious stuff.
You just never really understood my thought process and always twisted what I said or took it completely out of context.
It only dawned on me after we went our separate ways that there was so much I didn’t agree with yet I kept wearing blinders and avoiding what needed to be addressed.
In most of the relationship even though we spoke everyday I felt really alone, it’s so weird.
I know I fuxked up when I had agreed to date you knowing fully well you had not dealt with the demons of your past relationship.
You brought all that and more into our orb. See I’m not blaming you I’m just letting you in from my lens.
We moved so quick I guess because we had been best friends for time so we were comfortable with each other, as to be expected.
The first few months were nice because there was banter, there was laughter and smiles…
but I only realised those were present because we didn’t dig deep.
We didn’t dig into our core are lay ourselves bare to each other.
We stayed on the surface and as time passed we pulled further and further apart.
I stopped being your friend and only started to fill the space of ‘girlfriend’.
I always said I want whoever I chose to spend the rest of my life to be my best friend,
you demoted me and that’s when I knew we weren’t meant to be.
I thought you understood how important this was for me.
I was not important enough to you for you to look within yourself, I was only good enough to place blame on.
I don’t blame you though, you didn’t even know you started to blame me for things I had no part in creating.
I loved you and I don’t regret it,
I will continue to grow even as I close this door…this is a final goodbye.
I’ll stop here, I just hope you understand a bit more of where my head was…I hope you find happiness and success.