I’m celibate, what is the big deal?
How did you decide to be celibate? Why did you choose to be celibate? Those are some of the common questions asked. In the beginning it started off as me not being in a relationship then quickly turned to a growth journey for me, I’m talking 2 weeks into it lol. I found that as time went by I was figuring myself out and learning to really just love me for who I am. Before we continue let me just give you a bit more of a background of my character. I’m one of those people that once I decide to do something I do it to the fullest, I’m taking about what others would see as extreme lol.
So once I had decided that I was doing this for my personal growth (don’t get me wrong I’m not saying you can’t grow if you are not celibate, it’s just how I decided to do it), I set goals for myself and I made sure to hit them. Every time I would hit a goal I would make sure to tell myself how proud I am of myself and to treat myself. Sounds funny doesn’t it? Treating yourself because you are refraining from sex and what not, but honestly it strengthened me because it made me realise how strong I am and just how great of a catch I am lol. Along with my goals I decided to cut out men in general, like I said I go to the extremes. I decided to give myself one whole year by myself, no relationships…nada! I’m not going to say it was easy but reminding myself why I was doing it helped me out a lot. The hardest months for me were the first 3/4 months. Also weirdly after I had decided to do this there suddenly came a flood of ‘wanna be potentials’ haha. Had to stand there with a fly swatter.
A few months passed and I then learned to enjoy my walk and learn new things about my self, I began to see how much strength was within me. Some people reading this will be like “Is it really that hard?”
Yes and no, yes it is hard because once you have opened up yourself to that it makes it harder to curb especially when you meet someone you are sexually attracted to. No, in the sense that if the reason you are doing it is much stronger than being intimate with someone who you are not certain things will work out with, then to some extent it becomes easy. So in my first year I avoided males in general (not that I was going for females btw…okayyyy.) After a year I thought ‘Damn B, you are stronger than you thought lets try the dating thing again.’ Now I said I would be honest and 1 year passed, got in contact with an ex and everything that I had built burned down and the worst bit is…IT WASN’T WORTH IT! The next few weeks I beat myself up about it and recoiled and slightly started to self destruct but something in me refused to give into anymore temptations. I will gladly say, it is only by God’s grace that I didn’t falter again. I pulled myself back up, told myself it was one mistake and it was time to get back on that horse because my journey had only just began. I dated during this time and was always somewhat open after sometime with the guys I spoke to, and like always there were a few who thought they could change that for me…they failed. There was one close call though…we thank God we dodged that bullet.
I am now in a serious relationship with someone I can see myself spending the rest of my life with, and when this topic came up I was so sure of my decision (that’s for another post tho…look out for ‘Dating whilst celibate’.) I will say though that because there’s distance between us its easier to control because there is so much sexual attraction which is good for later in our future *wink wink* lol.
Before this gets long and boring I’ll end here for now, but it is not the end of my celibate walk. I will be posting answers to the questions I get in regards to celibacy. As you have all seen from some of my previous posts I am a sexual being but I want to be that and more with my husband and that’s a personal choice, so if you aren’t celibate no condemnations from this end.
Before you decide to be celibate look at the reasons you are doing it, don’t just do it because it is in fashion now. I feel like its now become a trend because many influential people in the media are doing it. It should have a much deeper reason, then you will understand and appreciate the meaning of it and your journey, it’s not just a waiting game.
New post tomorrow xx