Smoked Mirrors 2 

He stood there staring at her..taking her all in,

She ushers towards the window,

She opens up for him to enter,

She stood there in front of him bare,

Pulled him in wondering why he was there.

Hands still interlocked,

He draws her closer,

He buries his head in her neck,

She lets out a gentle breath,

He knows just how to please her.

They slowly start to gravitate towards her bed,

Mouths now connected,

Feeling each other’s longing,

She starts to tear and he gently wipes her tear away.

His hand over her derrière gripping tighter whilst the kiss deepened,

Her hands round his neck,

He picks her up and walks the rest of the distance to the bed,

Laying her down he places his body on top,

Her hands move to his belt buckle,

Undoing it with such ease yet urgency,

She grabs his shaft,

Elevating his hips she slides them down,

He struggles to kick them off whilst she ripped off his shirt,

They lay there both naked,

Staring in each other’s eyes,

Her eyes slowly expand,

He brings his lips down to hers to suck in her moan as tears drop down her face…

Essence…

She stood staring at herself in the mirror,

Wearing a silk robe,

The material cuddling her chocolate figure,

Tagging at the belt she loosened the robe,

Gently dropping it to the ground taking a step forward to be free of it.

Still staring at the mirror yet now bald,

She began to analyse her body,

Her hands reaching up  into her short coiled hair,

A TWA is what they call it.

She calmly moves her hands over her pronounced forehead,

Thick, not your typical shape eyebrows sitting on top her glimmering eyes,

Her big brow eyes staring back at her,

The type of eyes that pull you in,

Lashes a shiny luxurious black..curled as if she had used a curler.

A pronounced nose,

Thick lips, well outlined something like in the drawings of perfect lips.

She then caresses her ears that she always felt were quite small,

Down to her neck..not as lengthy as she’d like,

The deep of her collar bone enough to hold water,

Her shoulders broader that what she liked on a woman,

Her bosom full but not quite symmetrical,

The root of her body image issues.

She paused…eyes fixed on the one part she loathed,

She mutters under her breath ‘if only they were perfect.’

A tear drops..eyes shut she continues,

She moves her hands with great difficulty,

Placing them gently on her abdomen,

She has a love hate relationship with this area,

She loved her ever flat tummy,

But hated her forever there ‘love handles’.

She slowly continues down to her..her scar so clear,

She smiled at the thought of a memory.

Slightly turning to view her derrière,

A round printed behind,

Prints like a tiger..the beauty of it all,

She adores and embraces her stretch marks,

She carries quite a heavy load.

Hips wide like her mother…she loves that,

Thick strong thighs with a cinnamon glow,

Her calves outstanding,

Her feet dainty yet steady.

Resting her palms that she feels quite big over her chest,

Her love for her fingers indescribable.

One final glimpse of her full body,

She falls in love everyday with who she is despite her imperfections,

She’s perfectly imperfect and imperfectly perfect…if that makes sense.

She grows to love her body as a whole day by day…

Her essence lies within her.

Smoked Mirrors…

Forehead against the cold glass,

Hands on the pane supporting his weight,

Gaze focused,

He saw honey glistened cocoa skin,

A glow like no other radiating from her being,

Her sonsie body swayed as she moved around the room,

Feet hitting the ground gracefully,

Her delicate flow excited him,

She began to unclothe herself,

Slipping off her clothing as she headed for her bed,

She lay on the cream silk covers, bare.

An eerie feeling washed over her,

She turned to the large window,

Only to behold the face of her ex lover…..

 

M.B.C x

 

 

Relationships to sextuationships…

33ec1a954440b1f9125acef6dd819393The past posts have been stories about my personal experiences/relationships…this one is a little different. Instead of just writing about events in my life I’m just going off on a semi rant…or maybe I’m not ranting and just thinking out loud, hmmmmm.

I haven’t been in a relationship/situationship/sextuationship for almost a year now and funny enough I feel happier and more whole now than I did when I was ‘seeing’ someone (yes let’s use that word to categorise all relations.) Only those very close to me would know and understand how big of a thing this is for me.

Let’s go back a little in my life for you guys to understand the direction and reason for this post. If you have met me you would know that I am confident, bubbly, always chatting, far from unattractive ( I’m not conceited btw), and talented too…but like many I have dealt with major low self-esteem. I believe not many people would have seen it especially if you were not VERY close to me, I’m not talking about them fake close friendships but friends that actually took the time to know me and are still in my life now. From the age of 16, I have never been ‘not seeing’ someone for more than 2 months. Wait hold up now before you get your fingers out and try counting my peoples lol. In this time I have had serious relationships and not so serious ones.At this point in my life I thought having someone next to me made me better, and I always wanted to be better so I always had someone next to me…even when that person wasn’t adding anything to my life. This post is my personal view by the way, it is in no way telling others how to live. Also some people might be in the exact same position I was in and not happy in whatever relationship/situationship they are having with someone.

When I look back at the relations I have had and listening to some of my friends’ problems, the more I see that ‘relationships’ are progressively becoming sextuationships. It’s crazy how high ‘sex’ is on the relationship ladder, I didn’t see this until I stepped away from this scene. Isn’t it funny how we say we are in relationships yet know so little about our partners…their hurts, their flaws, their strengths, their likes, their hates, their life goals. Yet we know the feel of their breasts, the feel of their asses, the feel of their hands on you, the taste of them, what your kisses do to them and even the feel of their back…their backs people!!!

Take a step back and look at what activities you do when you are together, we spend so much time having sex rather than talking and sharing what’s going on with us or just doing outdoor activities together. Guys you spend so much time squeezing her breasts but if she had to have a lump in her breast would you even know? I mean this is the worst case scenario but still shit like this can happen. Girls if your man was to have a growth in his scrotum would you know? 

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‘Sex in the morning, sex in the evening, sex whenever you need it…’

Th other day a very good friend of mine and I had a conversation, one of the only guys who knows EVERYTHING about me, like I can tell this guy anything. We didn’t even plan to speak about this but you know when you get talking, the topic came up and my friend said to me ‘You know, I have never heard you say you need to get some or you want some…are you okay?’ Looooool. Only then did it hit me…’OH SHIT! its been almost a year!’ The more I think about this the more I’m inclined to continue being celibate and going about my business until I find someone I can share minds with, share feelings with and not just physical connections.

That’s enough from me, I have so much to say about this topic and so many questions I want to ask but if I keep going its going to be a mini book lool.

Please people, when reading this do not think I am passing judgement on anyone and what their choices are. If you are truly happy and fulfilled in your relationships that’s amazing, continue doing what you are doing and I wish you more happiness. This is just a personal ‘thinking out loud’ moment.

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M.B.C x